Athena’s wings

The innocent sinner

July 2, 2009 · Leave a Comment

    It’s Mingshang’s birthday this week and it’s also the 9th year Mingshang taught in the G senior high school.  We had a dinner with one of our friends in University. The teaching career in Taiwan isn’t always easily especially in private school. You’re not only need to work a long hours but almost 24 hours on duty because you’ve never know what happen on your lambs. Mingshang got a bad luck on his career and brought him a hard time recently. 

Mingshang

Mingshang

       You will never know where the crisis comes from no matter how much you take good care of your life. That’s this story comes from. One day, some of his students hanged out in a park nearby his school. There are some teen gangs also chatted there. When the teenager meets the teenager, it means fire. Even no-one knew where is the fire comes from. The two gangs have a serious fight because they don’t like each other. Some went to the hospital.

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        It’s not a surprising story and probably happened 100 time in a senior high shcool. It’s a simple case if you see from an education point of view. But, if it’s political point of view, it might be another story. Mingshang believes in his humanistic education thought. In his school, controled students by army style is a lot more simple than humanistic thought. The director of his department is a loyal believer and he asked Mingshang needs to take the responsibility of this issue. (I thought he waits for a long time.)  He commanded Mingshang hand over his class and no class for him to lead next semester.

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     Most parents of Mingshang’s class was shocked and volunteerly sent letters to the president of the school. They all knew he is a responsible teacher and the students love him. However, it embarassed the director more. The political issue always resolved by the political way. The final resolution the president made is “Mingshang still need to hand over his class but will lead the other class of the 1 grade (the fresh fish) next semester. Mingshang hurts a lot by this case. He loved his students and family. However, he almost lost his job and the passion of the education by an unexpected trouble because of the political reason.   

Fang-pong

Fang-pong

        I remember a story I read when I studied in University. There is a guy in Han dynastic called “Fang-pong”. At his era, the eunuchs held the government and the emperor. They corrupted, sold the government position and taxed heavy on people. Fang-pong wrote many letters to the emperor, killed many robbers and sent many corrupted governor to jail but most of them have relationship with eunuchs. The eunuchs gave him some accusations and sentenced his death penalty. 

The place where chinese did the execution

The place where chinese did the execution

        The last day in his execution ground, he made his extraordinary last will and the sentences are still immortally sounds in my mind even he said it 2000 years ago.  The history book said :

        Before the butcher cutted his head, he said  to his son :  

        吾欲使汝為惡,則惡不可為;吾欲使汝為善,則我不為惡。

        I want you to do the evil deed. However, people shouldn’t do the bad thing. I wish you to do the benevolent deed. However, I never do the evil thing.

         That’s what I thought, too. I don’t know this world either.

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The sunday school

June 15, 2009 · Leave a Comment

     First, I need to mention I haven’t baptism and I’m not a Christian. I just want to share one of my experience happened last sunday morning.  It’s a Sunday morning as boring as every typical one I had. Since I did the make up working day last Saturday, for compensating my hard work, I decided not to leave my bed before noon. It’s not an easy and good week for me. I didn’t feel smoothly last week and the bad mood put me questioned all I did and had. Self-guilty and anger eats my faith of God and I complained him everything. Even the people in the street ran into me, I blame god, too.  

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The fu-shui ball

       The channel exploration is one of the best entertainment on Sunday morning when you don’t know what to do next minute. Luckily, there are more than 60 channels on cable in Taiwan. You never felt bored of playing it. “Good news” channel?  10 minutes channel exploration without a channel for me. I really need a ”Good news” . Since there will be a career change soon, to learn more english vocabularies and speech skill is a good breakfast for my brain on Sunday morning.

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My future plan

       I didn’t expect a lot the first few minutes. After many bad life experiences I had, I’m kind of have an attitude that is “Ok, I will see what you can explain to your loyalty servant me about my life.”  But, the more I saw, the speech brings me into the situation that I’m like sitting with those audiences on TV. Am I been hypnotized? I really felt the God told me through the priest’s mouth and answered me lots of questions I queried him last week. In the moment, I felt he just want to said “Stop complaining, look and listen to what I told you.”  I’m startled and concentrated on the whole speech.

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Taipei 101 day view

        The whole speech makes me felt there is “someone” looked at me above. Especially, until the priest said : The divorce, it’s definitely not what God wanted to see. But, when it happened, it’s just happened. It doesn’t mean you don’t have right to be happy anymore. It doesn’t mean the God doesn’t look after you…….. When I heard this, I totally broken down and cried like a baby. It felt like a kid bumped himself but refused to admit his mistake. It’s hurt and bleeding but he preffered to pretend he’s a macho guy. He refused people’s help and concern but willing to take care everything himself. The speech is like a wisdom old man gave me a hug. In the meantime, I can’t pretend anymore but cry.

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Taipei 101 night view

      It’s really not what I meant. The whole thing : the divorce, the complaining, armed myself like a hedgehog. The last few years, I refuse to attend family and friend’s gather. I only psychologically felt relax when I torture myself by self-guilty. My body isn’t designed to hurt people. I knew that and I knew God knew that, too. That’s why he came and gave me a speech. (Or, maybe he just wanted me to shut up!!) But I really hurt lots of people by no means. After the Sunday school, I felt like taking a spirit hot bath. I can’t say I’m reborned. It’s too dramatic and it’s a long way to reborn. But, it felt good that you knew there is someone looked after you and you’re not alone. It makes every step dependable.

       The link is the channel I saw last Sunday morning:

http://www.joelosteen.com/Pages/Index.aspx

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The butterfly is fascinated with a flower

June 9, 2009 · Leave a Comment

      We taiwanese are enamored with the story of the butterfly and the flower. In Daoism, there is a story said by Jhong-Zi. One day, Jhong-Zi made a dream and became a butterfly in the dream. When he suddenly waked up, he was confused. He is wondering if he is a butterfly dreamed about being a humanbeing or if he is a humanbeing dreamed about being a butterfly. The butterfly is usually symboled the illusory and changeable life. The flower, in many country, symboled the untruthful dream or hope. When the illusory life meets untruthful hope, it’s always story.  

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         The beautiful flower always makes people go to pursue. Like the lyric of the “wind flower” said ” Their beauty captures every younger dreamer who lingers near them”. Maybe a beautiful woman, maybe a dream of roving the world or a career without chance to turning back. It’s like the destiny that the butterfly flies to the flower. Some got what they want, but most don’t. This song stands by a friend’s point of view that seeing throught the complicated feeling of his friend who paid price for pursuing an reverie.  

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Chinese lyric:

記得那盛開的花, 送給了多麼傻的她
花謝了, 有種冷冽的感覺
那愛情, 沉默啊

這些年, 蛻變的她
忘卻了, 眼淚的代價
炫耀她, 絢爛美麗的翅膀
找尋那 不謝的花

風,吹著, 說四季和心一樣
永遠反反覆覆的變化
雨 ,落著,  說愛情和風一樣
總是吹落盛開中的花

蝶戀花, 找不回的她
月光下, 冷卻的情話
雨淋濕了, 蝴蝶的翅膀
風吹走了, 嚮往已久的神話
她眼中有絕望的淚光

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Here is the online link of this song. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOWTkclLlj8

Translation:

     I remembered the blooming flowers which I sent to my silly her. The season the flower faded, the chilly air is surrounded. Talking about the serious relationship, I turn to be silent.

     She changes a lot after all those years and  forgot how many tears she paid for the growth. She shows off her sparkled and beautiful wings. She is still not giving up for finding the immortal flower.

     When the wind comes, it said people’s mind is repeatedly changing  like the seasons and never will be end.  When the rain falls,  it said love is like the wind. The most blooming flower will be the first one fallen.

* Repeat

     The butterfly is fascinated with a flower. I can’t find her back. Our sweet talk is frozen below the moonlight.  The heavy rainfall punchs the wings of the butterfly. The strong wind splits the immortal legend she yearned for years.  I found out the despair tears holding in her wet eyes.  

Here is the MP3 file of the song:

符瓊音-超偶2-02-蝶戀花

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      People is looking for an immortal flower. Does anyone in the world find one? So, what are you looking for?

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        Bonus for the people who watches this post!!

          http://www.taiwanbesttrip.net/?lang=en

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